Rules

I haven't been able to sleep tonight and have instead spent quite a lot of time thinking about my rules.

I have what feels like quite a lot of rules. M and I have sort of played around with them for a while now (the first rules he ever gave me were for specific situations, such as when we were in fetish clubs together, several years ago) but when my course started in September and he decided that he wanted to be more directly involved in my life and studies than a partner might normally, one of the ways he did so was to set me rules.

The rules that rarely change are as follows:
1. I am to be respectful, helpful and friendly towards staff and students on my course, always. This makes me realise that I don't actually have a rule saying I have to be respectful and so forth towards my friends, or shop assistants, or even M himself, but I suspect this might be something of an unspoken rule.

2. Between Monday and Friday I am permitted a maximum of six 'junk' foods or drinks each - chocolate, fast food, etc. The main reason for this is that I could do with paying more attention to my food choices, particularly when I get hungry in the middle of the school day. I don't use them all as that would mean twelve junk somethings in five days! But having the rule has made me think a lot more about fruit, yoghurt or seeds and nuts as snacks, and in fact not snacking at all but having a proper meal. Which has helped with my energy levels.

3. Between 9am and 8pm on school days the only 'personal' internet time I'm allowed is 45 minutes in my lunch break. Now that it's the holidays but I stil have assignments and revision to do, I'm permitted two hours at a time but then have to do at least 30 minutes of work before I can go online again. I do think this is quite generous, unfortunately there were still some days this week when I did no work at all... Oops...

4. M makes minor adjustments to my bedtime most weeks, I think mostly to keep me on my toes... this last week it's been half-past midnight, as my term's finished. It was always before midnight during term. I'm afraid this is probably the rule that I break the most often.

5. I am to be on time for all lectures, seminars, meetings, etc. I am to text him immediately if I am late. Skipping a session, or not going into school, is absolutely forbidden without his express permission. I've had a few near misses with this rule, where technically I was late to a lecture or something but the lecturer hadn't actually started yet and so M late me off. I have been late to a few though, including a memorable one where I missed 15 minutes of an hour long lecture. Ow.

6. I am to inform M of all school assignments, when they're due in and how long I think they will take. They are all to be completed early (no more all-nighters for me!) and a copy emailed to him before I hand them in. I find this incredibly difficult and embarrassing, I don't quite know why. But it also helps because the thought of him reading it definitely gives me a big extra incentive to work hard. Which is also embarrassing - surely I should be working hard enough just for myself?

7. New rule added for reasons that will become apparent in my next entry to this blog: I am to write in my diary when all assignments/assessments are given/made available, and when they're due (You can see what happened there, can't you? *blush*).

8. I am not permitted to touch my cunt with my bare fingers, ever, ever, ever. In fact this rule's now been in place for more than eight months and I'm very proud of the fact that I've never deliberately broken it. I do occasionally break it by accident, over the last few months I was averaging once a fortnight but this is now my fourth week without slipping. I'm torn between feeling proud I've managed for so long, and reminding myself that it's inevitable I'll break it again at some point...

Transient Rules that are Currently In Effect:
1. This week I was instructed to masturbate, with a butt plug in for at least 15 minutes, and then have one orgasm, on three separate occasions. I love this rule because it was a potent reminder that he has control over this part of me, of my life, without just forbidding orgasms - which would be a lot less fun as I often don't see him all week. I spent a lot of the 15 minutes thinking about how it didn't matter whether I wanted an orgasm or not (or more than one, which is usually the case - just one is sort of like an appetiser), I'd been instructed to and that was the end of it. Which was a seriously hot thought. I'm hoping we'll keep variations of this rule for a while.

2. I am not allowed to swear. I'm not really sure how seriously M takes this one, it sort of feels a bit like he imposed it for the week because so many of my usual rules are about my school day, and therefore don't currently apply. Except I've sworn three and a half times since Tuesday, so I suppose I'll find out soon how seriously he takes it...

3. Mince pies do not count as junk food :-)

So, yes, it feels like quite a lot of rules. However they're all helpful rules that, when kept, help me to feel good about myself, to do better work or be more organised, or to remember that I'm supposed to be his good girl.

The more permanent rules listed at the top have been in place since September, with a bit of tweaking at the beginning, and feel like they've been pretty well integrated into my life now. I like having them, when M and I meet on Friday evening I love being able to say that, for example, I've only had four junk foods and one junk drink during the week, or that I've been on time for all my classes.

I'm now wondering whether M would be willing to expand the rules to cover some other aspects of my life that I have difficulty with. There are two main ones that I'm thinking of, one being how much money I spend during the week and the other on getting errands and chores done around my school work (for example it took me more than a month to tell the bank my new address after I moved house, even though all it needs is a phone call and I looked up the number on the internet in the first week). Somehow the thought of letting him have authority over these parts of my life is more daunting than what we're currently doing.