Merry Christmas

One of my unofficial Christmas presents this year has been a re-activation, if you will, of M taking a more active role in keeping me on the straight and narrow. I've had some rules over the last few months (maintaining a bedtime routine, needing separate permissions for masturbating and orgasming, being naked when we're at home without guests) but calling me to account for them hasn't gone as we planned as it turns out that I will just let it slide, and slide, and slide. I also decided to give myself a star chart for December around some household chores, more to get some sense of how often they're done, but it's acted a bit as a motivator as well.

So since the 24th I've had to finish my bedtime routine and then bend over the end of the bed and wait for him. He's now the one who decides how many stars I deserve, and he also decides whether to get an implement out or not.

Given that we've only been doing this for three days so far, it's not very promising that I've already been spanked twice, although fortunately only mildly. The first time was on the first night, a few relatively light swats with his belt I think mostly to get my attention and to reinforce that he can spank me even if I haven't been naughty. But last night I got some swats from our heavier, scarier paddle for forgetting to do my physio exercises (um, forgetting for a week, actually). Nowhere near as devastating as it can be, just hard enough make my body jerk in response and my breath huff out and my hands to grip the bedclothes harder and my brain to ask why I was so stupid as to not do the exercises.

One thing's for sure, it's a definite incentive to make sure I do them today. I do not want to give him reason to use it any harder!

(I'm writing this whilst taking a break from writing out 100 lines for him, by the way. Not punishment lines, 'just' reinforcement lines. Unfortunately my hand's still as sore as though they were punishment lines :-( And the kicker is I already did them last week but I'd remembered what he'd dictated the line to be just slightly differently from what he'd actually said and now I have to re-do them!)