More on Rules

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you all got or gave New Year's spankings as appropriate. M was kind enough to promise that mine would not consist of 2,008 strokes. Thank you.

I'm still thinking a lot about rules. I wrote about this just before Christmas but that was about my regular rules which tend to be more relevant when I'm not with M (apart from the rule about not touching my cunt, which is about as absolute as a rule can be). But spending a lot of this holiday with M has highlighted that my rules really only apply when I'm apart from him. I don't have rules for when we're together.

Of course I like this most of the time because it means that seeing M is a bit like a holiday, but we've just found that it doesn't work so well if I'm visiting for several weeks straight. It seems that I wind up feeling not at all submissive, or in any way obedient towards him, and really was starting to feel there was nothing grounding me. It wasn't that I was deliberately disobedient, but my usual practices of deferring to him, or expressing any disagreements politely, and so on, were mostly gone. This culminated with my ordering M to have something done by Friday. Now, it is something that he needs to do with increasing urgency, and it is something he's been putting off for a while. But normally I would have suggested that it might be nice if he had it done by Friday, or maybe we could do it together over the weekend. Rather than getting bossy with him.

So M and I talked about the increasing control he is having over my life (I am, for example, quite happy to ask his permission before seeing friends, and he's happy when I do, so that it's now almost turning into an unwritten rule) and how we both like this but it works less well if there are then suddenly no rules - which seems to be what happens when I stay over for an extended period of time.

Of course, now we come to something of a problem. We don't want to make up rules for the sake of it, they need to have meaning. All the rules I have at the moment are ones that evolved over time and mean enough to us that I know exactly why it's important that I follow them, and that M wants them followed and will take exception if I don't follow them. It's more difficult to translate this to when M and I are together because we're rarely alone and there are children to consider so I can't, for example, ask permission before doing things without causing raised eyebrows and awkward questions.

I'm to spend some time thinking about this before Friday, but if anyone has any suggestions I would be glad to hear them.